We successfully made it through the first year! Lydia is alive and seemingly happy and I have avoided a mental breakdown for lack of instruction booklet. We spent her birthday quietly at home. The big party will come this weekend, so for now I decided we would just enjoy quiet time together. I made her some special foods (cinnamon rolls for breakfast and pizza for lunch) and we spent a lot of time laughing and playing and just having fun.

Today we took her for her 12 month doctor visit. She is doing great and developing as expected. For whatever reason she absolutely hated lying down on the table this time. Maybe it was cold? She's never disliked it before, but this time she really just wanted to be held. Her growth stats have further flip-flopped... which just makes me laugh. She started out as my short, chubby baby with a big head... and now she is my tall, skinny girl with a big head! hehe. She is 20lb 3oz (around 40%ile), 29.5in long (around 65%ile), and has an 18in head circumference (just under 75%ile). Lydia is mostly wearing 18 month clothes now because her 12 month stuff is too short. I'm hoping she sticks with this size for awhile because I stocked up on summery 18 month stuff and want her to be able to wear it at some point!

After all of the regular checks they had to do 3 shots & draw blood to test her hemoglobin and lead levels. No fun! She was upset by it all, of course, but per her usual ways she was all smiles and giggles by the time we got out to the car. Happy for the quick recovery because tomorrow is picture day!
I know I've probably said it before, but I really really wish sometimes that I had a Pause button for life. I don't want to rewind or stop, but an occasional pause so I can get a solid grip on the moment would be appreciated.

I've been due for a "how's Lydia doing these days" post for quite some time, but I think I just get overwhelmed with just how much she is changing and growing that I'm afraid to write it down. Perhaps for fear that I'll forget 90% of what I should be writing down, or perhaps because writing it makes it all that more real. Sometimes I just want to pretend that my baby ISN'T growing up. She isn't going to stop needing me, she isn't going to change, and she for SURE isn't going to start learning how to disobey!

But alas... I've sat in denial too long. Today Lydia took her very first solo steps. Two very wobbly and unsure little steps, but they were there. She did a few more one-step attempts, and one other two-step try after Daddy came home. If she does the walking thing the same way she did the sitting up and standing things, she'll be confidently walking everywhere in a week or so.

Also today we took another big step together... weaning. Today is the first day that I will not be nursing her at all. For the past week she has been down to just nursing at bedtime, so tonight we put her down without it. She was crying at first, but she had been fussing from the instant we got her undressed to put her PJ's on. We got her ready and I rocked her and sang to her until she had calmed down. I offered her a sippy cup of warm milk but she refused to even take a sip. So once she was quiet and calm, I kissed her on the head like I always do, told her I loved her and that it was time for night night, and gently placed her in her crib. She didn't fuss.

While I have never been one who looooved nursing like some moms do, there's still a part of me that is sad for the transition. I'm so happy to have nursed her for almost a year (cut short by a few days so that she has time to adjust before birthday parties, doctor appointments, pictures, etc). It was a great experience and I feel lucky that we didn't have any difficulties along the way. I loved nursing for the special time of cuddling (those of you who know my sweet girl know that she is a major wiggle worm, so cuddle time is special!), but I am looking forward to a bit more freedom. Since Lydia gave up on bottles very early on, I have been tied to her physically for the past year. Date nights for Brent and I have had to fit around Lydia's bedtime schedule, meaning we either had to be home by 7 or wait until 7 or 8 to leave (in which case whoever watched her didn't get to see her). It will be nice once this transition is over to be able to actually go out for a dinner date and not have to worry about bedtime for the baby! I'm trying to focus on the positives here. :)

Lydia is growing and learning so many things these days. She is interested in little puzzles like figuring out how to pull her plastic barrels apart and then put them back together. She definitely has my (lack of) patience though! Lydia will try two or three times to get the barrel halves together, then she will start to cry and flail her arms around throwing the halves across the room. She definitely gets frustrated easily, but I try to help her and encourage her to keep trying again. She continues to be my little mimic. She loves to mimic mouth noises including attempting to whistle... which is hilarious because neither Brent nor I can whistle! She heard my parents whistling when we visited and now I'll see her randomly trying to do it herself. As far as actual words go, she will repeat certain words when you say them to her - mostly mama, dada, and night night - but doesn't do much when it comes to saying things on her own. The only word I'll fully give her credit for is "hi." She says hi a lot in the proper context and without prompting. I cracked up in the grocery store the other day when we were standing at the deli counter and Lydia leaned to the side to look around me and enthusiastically shouted "HI!" to the lady who walked up behind us. My goodness what a friendly little girl I have!

She hasn't picked up a whole lot more sign language, but Lydia did make up her own version of the "I love you" sign. She doesn't have the coordination to bend just the two middle fingers down, so instead she just bends her whole hand down. But it is certainly a specific sign she does for "I love you." She is also learning to blow kisses, however she doesn't understand the second half (the "blowing" part) and instead just smashes her hand onto her lips whenever I mention kisses. Lydia has also learned how to drink from a straw, but still prefers to just chew on it unless she is thirsty.

On to eating... this has been the largest obstacle for me and certainly tries my patience. Especially as of late. Not only does she enjoy dropping food on the floor, but she also feels the need to change foods every 3 bites. It doesn't seem to matter what I feed her. She will take 3 or 4 bites, then refuse to eat any more of that food. I'll then switch to another food for 3 or 4 bites before she won't eat that anymore either. I wouldn't mind so much if I could just cycle through 2 or 3 food and she'd be happy... but no. Once she's had her few bites of something, she is DONE with that. It gets so frustrating! I honestly don't want to have 15 foods prepared to offer her at each meal. The one and only thing that seems to be foolproof to her games is baby food green beans. Yes, she loves them. The other day she ate almost 2 whole packages in one meal. But beyond those, even things that she used to absolutely love like grilled cheese get refused after a few bites. I've been trying to teach her to sign "all done" when she doesn't want anymore of something rather than dropping it on the floor, but it hasn't worked yet. I've tried ignoring the food dropping, and telling her no. Neither as phased her. But regardless, I could deal with the food on the floor if she would at least eat a decent amount before tossing it... then signing for "more" because she is hungry but wants something different now. I'm out of ideas here!

In just 3 short days my baby girl will be one year old. I know it is cliche, but it really does go by so fast. I think back on all that has happened this past year and how much she has changed and it truly is amazing. So much is different now! We will be celebrating her birthday next weekend when my family has a chance to come up to visit. It will certainly be crazy around here... my parents, my oldest brother with his wife and three daughters, and possibly my other brother will all be staying at our house! This will mean 4 little girls (ages 6, 4, 2, and 1) will be running around terrorizing my home. Madness! But I'm sure it will be good fun. I always love having my family around. And in addition to my family, many of Brent's family members will be over next Sunday for the birthday party. We decided to keep it for family only, but even with just family members we will have a ton of people in our house for the evening!

I'm just hoping and praying that Lydia is feeling well. She has been under the weather for the past week and threw up for the first time ever on Monday. Tuesday afternoon and evening she spent hours just cuddling and napping with me on the couch. I can't honestly say I didn't enjoy it because, as mentioned above, cuddle time with Lydia is short and infrequent, but I was so sad that she felt crummy. Things seem to be looking up now, though, and she was mostly back to her normal antics today. The only not normal thing is that she is still being pretty clingy to me, not wanting me to even leave the room. But I'm hoping that is teething related. She was that way when she cut her bottom two teeth and she looks really close to cutting a top one now.

So there ya have it... updated life of Lydia. Long post due to the fact that it's taken me nearly a month to force myself to write it. She'll have her 12 month doctor appointment on Tuesday, so I'll likely post more info on how she's doing after we get her new stats. Is it funny that I am SO excited to find out my baby girl's weight? Don't worry, Lydia... I promise I'll get over it before you reach high school.
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I'm having a hard time keeping up with Lydia's baby book(s) and it's making me very nervous about my ability to do this for future children. I even started out with intentions of not going all-out for Lydia and doing a ton of stuff that I won't be able to commit to with others. But here I am, just doing trying to do the minimum and failing! I finally sat down today to attempt to document all that Lydia learned, liked, and disliked when she was 10 months old and quickly realized that I can hardly remember. Oops. I'm a bad mommy. Ha!

So Brent and I decided that we'll just see how things go with future kids and will hide or burn all evidence of extra stuff that we did for the first one or two. Better to deprive tham all then to gradually deprive them more and more... ;)