Part of the beauty (and frustration) of the internet is the ability to leave out the details. The author of a blog has the ability to choose exactly what is revealed to his/her readers and therefore the readers likely never get a real picture of who the author is and what his/her life is really like. They just see the snippets that are shared. There's nothing really wrong with that. Like I said, it's part of the beauty of the internet. We are able to share our lives with others without sharing our ENTIRE lives with others. But if we aren't careful, it can become easy to think that these snippets are all there is. Kinda like when we watch TV shows or movies and sometimes slip into thinking that that's what life is really supposed to be like.

I know I've done it before. Lots of times. Whether it's been through blogs or just with friends whom I don't see very often, I know I've had lots of times where I let myself slip into believing that these other people have the "perfect" marriage, family, life, etc. I swear they never fight or have bad days and their houses probably look spectacular and smell like roses all the time. Ha!

Anyway, my point is that these things probably aren't true. I'm seeing a very narrow piece of the whole of their lives. And the same is true of this blog. As the author of this blog, I do want to do my best to be real here. I've always been a heart-on-my-sleeve type of person. But, I also strive not to complain. I don't want my blog to be an outlet for ranting about life's frustrations... mainly because ultimately I know my life is pretty darn awesome and God has blessed me greatly. But to those of you out there who read this (however many or few of you there are), know that my life still has ups and downs. I post mostly about the good things... about fun vacations and how much I love my family. But my life is definitely not roses all the time. I fight, struggle, doubt, cry, and hurt at times too.

I've been struggling lately with a number of things, mostly related to a lack of discipline. It's been over 7 months now since my life felt routine and a lot of stuff is starting to suffer as a result. So last week I decided I was going to commit to some improvements.

Around the house: I'm at home practically all day every day. I decided that I need to start seeing my home as my job and get serious about keeping it presentable. I likely will never become a super neat-freak, but I do want to try to make more effort. It's a really satisfying feeling to have a clean house. So, I've divided up the chores and tasked myself with something each day of the week. For example, today is kitchen day and tomorrow I clean the carpets.

Spiritually: I hate to admit that this has been lacking but yeah... it has been. Majorly. But knowing the importance of spending time with God, and after our church's series on prayer, I knew I had to get more disciplined in this area. I've been spending Lydia's first nap of the day reading the Living It Out Bible study and journaling prayers. Have I immediately returned to feeling on fire for Christ? Nope. I wish it was that easy. I truly miss that fire. But this relationship, like any relationship, takes time and effort. I'm working on the first step right now... taking the time to invite God to work in my life again.

My marriage: Nope, I don't have a perfect marriage either. Told you my life isn't roses! Even with 5 years of experience under our belts, Brent and I still miss the mark a lot. After spending time praying about marriage, I had to laugh a little when my friend Kim blogged about how to like your husband again. God always has fun ways of communicating. In addition to working on following Kim's advice, I started reading through the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I've read most of it before, but I wanted to examine it again. It's given me some new insights into what I need and what Brent needs from me. We had a great talk last weekend and I already feel like we're doing better. (Note: I don't mean to imply that we've been having serious marital problems, just that no marriage is perfect and ours is no exception to that.)

There are tons of other areas of my life that need improvement as well, but the above three are the ones I've been focusing on lately. One step at a time, right? I want to make the most of this life that I've been given. I am far from perfect and I make a LOT of mistakes. I'm just grateful for a loving family and a gracious God who are willing to be patient with me.

May is a VERY busy month for us... particularly the middle of May.


10th - Mother's Day
12th - My brother's birthday
14th - Our anniversary
16th - Baby dedication
17th - My brother's wife's birthday
18th - My parent's anniversary


Yikes! That's a ton of stuff in 8 days! Needless to say I've been keeping plenty busy this past week.


My first Mother's Day was nice. Brent had to work and I didn't get to see my mom that weekend though, so that was a little disappointing. But we went to Brent's mom's house for a cookout in the afternoon and ate yummy burgers & tossed frisbees around. Lydia didn't give me any extra sleep for Mother's Day, but she was a happy baby girl and that's pretty much all I need.


The 14th was our 5 year anniversary. Yipee! :) We had Brent's sister come over to watch Lydia so we could go out to dinner and mini-golf. I always love mini-golfing with Brent because it's one of the few things I can beat him at. He beat me last time but I was around 8 months pregnant... hard to swing a golf club like that! ;) Thanks to his hole in one it was a close game, but I beat him in the end. Hehe. It was nice to get out as a couple again, but unfortunately Lydia has now decided she won't take a bottle and we came home to a screaming, hungry child. I may keep having Brent try to give her a bottle but I'm not so sure it will work anymore... and I hate wasting milk! My mom said I never took a bottle... so perhaps this is my payback. :P


May 16th was Lydia's special day... dedication day! My parents drove up for the day and we had tons of friends and family at church to join us in prayer for Lydia and our family. Sometimes I still can hardly believe that this little treasure is ours to raise. She is an absolute joy in my life and fills each day with plenty of smiles and laughter (and laundry haha).





In other news - I went to an allergist yesterday to get tested since my sinuses are driving me crazy. Turns out I'm allergic to dust mites. Unfortunately this means I need to spend more time vacuuming. Perhaps I'll just live with the runny nose... ;)


Tomorrow I will make my "final" drive to Findlay to officially quit my job. I was on paid leave until April 21st and have been on unpaid family leave since then. It was always my intention to quit, but we wanted to wait until we received all of my paychecks and took care of the money in my company health spending account. Now that that's all taken care of, I'm calling it quits! I think Brent is still a little bummed about the major loss of income (nearly 60% of our income came from my job), but this is something we've been planning for since way back when we were engaged. The plan has always been for me to stay at home once we had kids. That's why we've always made it a point to cover all of our expenses with Brent's income and only use mine for getting out of debt & paying down the mortgage. So... we're kissing goodbye to our huge payments towards our house, but other than that our budget is largely unaffected.


Updates on Lydia: She continues to get up at least once during the night... typically 3am give-or-take 30 minutes. I've started to resign to the fact that this just may be what I have to deal with until we introduce cereal. I just keep reminding myself that she will only be this age once and I need to savor it... sleep deprivation and all! Lydia's interest in toys is starting to pick up these days. She still doesn't grab for them, but she is more willing to bat at the ones we dangle over her. She still hasn't done any rolling over either, but that's okay. Tummy time is still disliked. Lydia gets upset over being on her tummy before she tries too much to flip herself over. She has, however, gotten a lot better at rolling around on her back. She likes to tuck her knees in and tip over on to her side. Before she would mostly topple back when doing this, but yesterday she was doing really well staying on her side. I'm not looking forward to her figuring out how to roll onto her belly until she figures out how to roll back to her back... she hates the belly so much that I'd probably spend all day flipping her back over to prevent screaming!